He once stared directly into the sun, the sun blinked.He once made s’mores with Wheat Thins, mayonnaise, and black olives, it was delicious.He was the first human to become a member of the Autobots, his name was “The Most Interesting Man In The World Prime”.He can read Lady Gaga’s poker face.He saw Twilight more than once, not because he enjoyed it, but because he learns his prey before he hunts.Wizards rock the beard because of him.When he lays with a woman the entire planet feels warm and fuzzy inside.Every time a bell rings an angel gets its wings. Every time he rings a bell, Heaven breaks into a symphonic orchestra which brings forth the 2nd coming of Jesus Christ.He once said “something smells funny”, that “something” has been recorded as the funniest thing in the world.
They say under his beard is another Chuck Norris.
Not only does he know where all of Voldemort’s horcruxes are, but he also knows Voldemort’s middle name.
He once had a stare down with Dramatic Chipmunk, he won.
He once sang a William Hung song for American Idol, Paula threw herself at him, Randy was speechless, and Simon shed a tear of joy.
He smelled what The Rock was cooking, he didn’t like it.
Ever wondered how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop? so did he, the Government caught wind of this, and paid him off to keep the answer a secret. The world will never know.
The circle of life scene from The Lion King was a re-enactment of his birth.
He’s never been wrong, even when he was.