March 2011
186 posts
Your girlfriend dumped you?
Okay, this is how it goes. You get an orangutan. I’m not talking a little monkey or some dancing chimp bullshit, I mean a fucking orangutan. Don’t ask me how you’re gonna get a fucking orangutan, because that’s not my problem.
So the orangutan’s name is Clyde. This is non-negotiable; all orangutans are named Clyde. I don’t know why that is, it’s just how...
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math...
When his teacher picked him to answer a question.
“Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shit one, how many would be left?” “None,” replied Johnny, “because the rest would fly away.” “Well, the answer is four,” said the teacher, “but i like the way you are thinking.”
Little Johnny said “I have a question for...
Charlie Chaplin once entered a Charlie Chaplin...
AND LOST! Awesome.
